At the age of twenty-three, my life is nothing but a collection of rewarding experiences. Good and bad, joy and sorrow, victory and defeat, freedom and chain, abundance and lack.
Lately, i’m being knocked at the door by all the wrong decisions that I made, the sins of my youthful days. Just when i thought i’ve outrun them all, they’re back to taunt, remind and condemn. As guilt once again chases after me, i slowly by slowly, little by little, withdrew myself from God. I always questioned him during my talks with him. Would i still be good enough to do your work after all that I have done? Would i still be an effective minister despite all the dark and dire secrets i tend to keep? My wrong decisons in the past are drawing me back from the puposes he has for me. Paranoia is back on a strike!
Oh but of little faith i am. Did i totally forget that the gruesome cruxifiction was God’s plan of freeing me from my sin? And at the cross, both the depravity and the heights of God’s amazing love is seen. Then i come to realize that he uses all the uncertainties in me, all the questions it involves, to sanctify and enlarge my faith. God is faithful when i have been faithless. His kindness and mercy to me are not based on what i have done, but he sees me wearing the righteousness of his only begotten son, Christ Jesus. And through the cross, i can approach God with freedom and confidence.
My past has no hold of me. No matter how sordid it may have been. For Jesus died for me on the cross, he was condemned and cursed, forsaken by the Father so that i may not be forsaken. How deep and vast is his love for us, beyond all measure it truly is. Wounds mar the chosen one, to bring many sons to Glory! For without the shedding of the blood, there is no forgiveness. The blood of Christ who through eternal spirit offered himslef unblemished to God, cleansed our consciences from the acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the Ever - Living God. He died as a ransom to set me free.
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